


Third Time's The Charm

by Serenittybittydipity



Series: Coming of Age - EH [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cunnilingus, Eren is the dad and here's how I think it went down, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Petting, I've edited this so many times I've lost count, Mentions of Underage Sex, Sexual Inexperience, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, eventually they have great sex, it just takes time, lousy sex, pregnancy theory, realistic sex, very light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:21:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28108479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenittybittydipity/pseuds/Serenittybittydipity
Summary: (spoilers for manga chapters 108 and 130 of the manga) takes place before the Marley Arc.“How much time?” The words came out in a breathless press, weak and sad.“Five years,” he said, his hand tipped her chin, encouraging her to look up at him. The sadness she had come to associate with his eyes was back even if there was a smile on his lips. “...and some change. Same as I told the others on our way back.”“I’m sorry, Eren.”He gave a wry huff, shaking his head. “My path is set. But yours isn’t, Historia. Just like Jean’s, and Connie’s and Sasha’s. Mikasa’s and Captain Levi’s, and Hange-san. You all deserve to live long and happy lives. I do not want any of you to sacrifice more than you already have.”Eren looked back up at her before she could ask more about what he meant and there was a shyness there she didn’t expect.“You’re all important to me,” he said. “But you, Historia… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you even for a moment.”
Relationships: Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Eren Yeager
Series: Coming of Age - EH [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2067585
Comments: 61
Kudos: 308





	Third Time's The Charm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [K_Lionheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_Lionheart/gifts).



> After some reading and some feedback I decided to change then ending since I wasn't satisfied with it. I think this is better. Tell me what you think.

This wasn't like when they were both fifteen, with his hands sinking under her skirt to grip inexpertly against the hot skin of her hips.

The inexperience of touching each other like _this_ for the first time made them both clumsy, bumping hands into each other, mumbling incoherent thoughts to one another, teeth clicking together. She remembered feeling his grip almost too hard, both of them shuddering into the skin of their necks as she lifted her skirts to better grind the space between her legs against the hardness between his. He'd sunk his teeth against her clothed shoulder and hissed when her fingers shook hard around his hair and they'd fallen into the small cot of her room back on the farm. Clumsy. Windswept by the rage of stammering hearts and the demanding swoop of pleasure that had him tug his pants down his hips under the fabric of her skirt. Historia remembered gasping and then feeling his hand press against her lips, gray-green eyes rolling like thunder clouds and bright with need against hers. She had awkwardly pressed her knees too high up on the fabric of her own skirt that she could barely lift her hips enough for him to squeeze past the worn elastic of her underwear. She lost her balance. Eren had tried to compensate by wriggling his hips for more room. She ended up dropping down on his length, wet and tight and not at all prepared for what it meant to have him jolt up inside her like that. It hurt for her, made him groan tight. They didn't know what they were doing, but Historia held firm as she forced her hips to roll and watch his head fall back and take her with him. 

It ended as quickly as it began. Maybe a minute of mindless rutting before Eren wrapped his arms around her and whined into her shoulder. Historia didn't know why he suddenly stopped, couldn't comprehend anything except the desire to hold him until he stopped shaking and squeezing her too tight she could barely breathe. She didn't know what to expect. He didn't either. The were just two stupid kids reacting on instinct they had learned about back in their trainee days but had never been gripped so viciously by before.

They'd both heaved a sigh of relief when her cycle arrived only a week after. But the idea never left her...

What would it be like to be pregnant with his child?

It was an odd fantasy and one she was quick to dispel back then. They were too young to consider the consequences. So she didn't. They both left it at that. Unspoken and unaddressed.

Back then all she could care to know was being able to _feel_ something besides frustration and the selfish pain of being offered as a lamb to the slaughter. She understood why they had done it. Why was she being asked to take the Beast's mantle for the sake of an advantage in this age-old war they were only just waking up into? She understood and was ready to die ( _no, she really wasn't. Not like this._ ) for the cause. 

A part of her had hoped to find some comfort in the eyes of her friends. But no one stood up. No one said anything. 

Until Eren did. 

He openly refused the orders of the higher-ups and determinedly announced there will be another way. He would not sacrifice her. Her eyes had welled up with tears before she could stop it. No one had dared do what he did then and as much as she was alright with taking on the burden, the part of her heart that feared the power of the titans felt protected. Gratitude was a weak work compared to the relief pouring color back in her chest.

They met back up at the farm a couple of days later. There was the innocence of expressing gratitude that stood at the forefront of her mind when she saw him stand by the fence to stare at the scenery but that even fell apart for the familiar and warm electricity that sparked between their arms as she took her spot beside him. She'd nervously tucked her bangs fruitlessly behind her ears as he fiddled with a fraying string on his shirt. 

"Thanks," is all she could say, eyes downcast. There were so many words she could say instead but she couldn't even fathom stringing them together. Everything she'd rehearsed felt silly, or too formal. She doesn't exactly know why she was behaving so weird and she knew he was going to notice sooner or later. She dared glance up at him and as much as her stomach writhed with unprecedented nerves (for _what_ and _why_ she didn't fully comprehend), her heart still fell when she saw the melancholy clinging shadows under his eyes.

"I couldn't let them," he said and it sounded like a defeat and despite all the hours upon hours of sitting on the grass together, tending to the farm side by side, laying on haystacks to stare at the sky and just _talk_ and be kids, Historia's heart still broke knowing she would never fully be able to carry the burden dragging his lips down. At some point, holding hands for them stopped being just about helping Eren sort the memories lurking in his blood. The formality of doing it for the sake of the job ended after the first time they talked and he bore some of his anxieties to the air between them. 

The space between his fingers was familiar and it held all the unspoken things they needed. So Historia tugged her fingers under the long fabric of his shirt to find his hand in his pocket. His clothes were loose enough that she could sneak through and take the spot they both carved into his hand for her.

"Let's go inside."

She tugged him once and he followed quietly. There were no words for a long time and even after he'd walked her to her room. She didn't say a word and neither did he. Usually, at the mouth of her door, Historia would let her grip slip out of his and always miss the slightest way his muscles would jerk as if fighting the sensation. She didn't at that time. Instead, their eyes met again, the shadows so prominent on his face that all she wanted was to chase them away and put something else in his expression. He must have sensed the way the air suddenly sharpened because suddenly he was glancing down at her mouth and Historia couldn't stop her arm from yanking him inside even if she wanted to.

That was then.

Inexperience gave way to moments away from the world that invited him to explore and make new memories on her skin. Memories that would be solely hers and his. The touch of their hands stopped being enough for him, was entirely inadequate for her. They were still kids, but sometimes he would show up to the Farm after experiments with Hange. He'd show up after ages of not seeing one another and the servants of the farm eventually knew exactly when to avert their eyes and pretend the Queen and Eren Jaeger were meeting for the most innocent of reasons.

Then he disappeared to retake Shiganshina and it's the first time Historia felt the awful anxiety of never seeing him again. And that was the most confusing part of it all. They were still friends, even if their new explorations never gave birth to conversations about potential _anything_ between them. He needed it, she knew. An escape from the haunting pressures of memories and the strategies of the world demanding blood and sacrifice and pain. Sometimes they wouldn't do anything except sit together for tea or to walk the grounds after she said goodbye to the last of the children before handing them off to their new families. Then he'd lay down with her and feel the earth turn under them, watching the stars spiral overhead with nothing but a blanket and hot tea at their sides, fingers weaved into familiar threads that helped him find more answers than she could think to voice.

But when he disappeared, he took a part of her that left a massive hole behind and she tried her hardest to not succumb to shallow despair.

Above all else, they were friends. Friends that sometimes got too handsy, got too bold despite new social restrictions because she wasn't only a teenager but a Queen. Like the first time, she kissed him, when they found a spot to nap under a tree and he had explained he didn't truly feel like himself anymore, memories mingling so heavily he felt lost to the murky clouds of remnants past. She had no idea why she had suddenly pushed up to an elbow to look into his face, or why her hand moved before she could stop it.

"Historia?"

And she tilted his chin and softly brushed their lips together, delicate and simple like the pictures in a book Frieda gave her once. She was certain she did it right until she pulled away to flutter her eyes and look at him again, finding his eyes closed. Somehow his hand didn't get lost when it found the back of her head and tugged her back down, this time, in a way that felt nothing like she saw in the books, but in a way that ignited their flesh in yet another new way. Holding hands was part of the norm for them, kissing started being unbearably necessary.

He didn't deny that it felt nice. It felt nice to feel something with his own skin. But that never meant anything more than what they were. She was his friend, his ally above all else.

She gave him her time and listened attentively when he didn't know where to start expressing the visions in his mind. In return, he opened his arms and let her sit by him close enough that the starvation of her skin was soothed... and maybe they both helped each other when the starvation begged for more carnal appetites.

Waiting for him to return was a monstrous and Herculean task but Historia dealt with it and focused on other projects to assist the tired and needy from around the walls. She poured herself into work while he was gone and it was a perfect distraction.

That was all then.

His return from Shiganshina and the subsequent ceremony where she greeted their triumphant return with tokens of heroism marked the end of their necessary visits. He had unlocked whatever he needed to unlock with that kiss to her hand. Whatever he had discovered and understood changed him again and Historia saw her friend at the farm less and less. It was bitter. But she didn't say anything. She knew they were still friends, still allies...

Allies...

"Eren," his name gasped out of her throat, mind spinning, overwhelmed by the flames of his touch scorching her under her clothes. It'd been three weeks. The news of the Paradis Railway nearing the final stage of construction and what that could mean with the leverage on the Azumabito clan had been all she thought to bring up when he arrived, black hair swinging past his temples and his eyes focused entirely on hers. They had talked and talked and talked until the servants left and the teapot between them had only started brewing the latest batch of tea. He surprised her by the kitchen counter when she turned to ask him to pass her the jar of honey. Instead, his hands pulled at her waist and silenced her surprised protest at being spun around without warning. 

He'd gotten much taller, broader. The leanly built teenager of three years ago was but a memory now that he stood, arms thick with corded muscle from working on the railway construction. She had a minor growth spurt that finally had her stand average height, but that hardly meant anything with how he towered over her. Whatever topic of the evening that stood between them was burned to ash under the power of his eyes as they branded the shape of her lips into new memory and all she could do was cling to his shirt and jacket when he hoisted her firm against his chest and sunk his lips and engulfed her own. They'd done this a few times already. Familiarizing lips in exploratory brushes, tongues only daring to graze when they felt more bold.

 _This_...

Was nothing like those times.

"Ah!"

There was hunger in the way his lips wedged between hers, opening her mouth to let his tongue swoop in and taste her that left Historia breathless. She could still taste the faint sugar of the tea they were just enjoying but, beyond that, the sensation of his tongue sliding and coaxing hers to dance wiped her mind clean of anything rational. His hands, larger than she had noticed they had become, swept and gripped to her hips and back, squeezing tender points on her hips and gliding over sensitive zones of her back left her shuddering. All she could do was swing her arms around his neck to try and hold on and she realized even though she was now arching up to her toes to keep him close, he was still leaning.

Until he broke away, gasping and pressing his forehead to hers. Her mouth throbbed, mind foggy as her body tingled from her toes to her ears. The space between her legs throbbed painfully hot and squeezing her thighs together only made her nervously aware as to how slick her underwear had become simply by being kissed that hard. 

"Should I go?" she heard him ask, voice rough and low, dragged dirty over the very lusty power coiling hotly in her belly. Historia shook her head, still fighting to catch her breath and not wanting to breathe too hard in his face for some odd reason.

"Stay," she said after gulping down air. He loosened his hold on her and that's when she noticed how much she's shaking. Reproach made the bright gleam in his eyes dull a bit, and she could tell he was worried about pushing her too far. Historia clenched her fingers harder around his clothes, pressing harder against him, eyebrows furrowing with determination. She felt something hard rub against her belly where his hips were flushed against hers. A trickle of want trailed down her inner thigh and Historia shivered again, refusing to let go. 

"Stay, Eren."

He nodded, eyes hazy. She wanted nothing more than to see those eyes gaze up at her from the pillows on her bed. He didn't seem to have the patience for that it seemed because he didn't hesitate in hoisting her up to the kitchen counter where his hands pulled up under her shirt and grabbing at the hot flesh of her breasts, mouthing his way down her neck as she moaned. Historia whined, head falling back as her legs spread to pull him closer. He'd only touched her breasts a few times before, more out of carnal curiosity than anything else.

"Eren...!" 

She hadn't realized she'd moaned that so loud because his hand was suddenly scrambling out of her shirt to silence her. His eyes come back up to gaze into hers, both of them heaving, heart jack-hammering in their chests as she flushed red with nerves. His eyes... oh, she didn't think she'd see them ever look this bright, this alive. Whatever that did to him, it slowed the pace down for him and he was slowly removing his hand from her mouth. Historia felt embarrassed at first until he grabbed her by the hand.

"Let's go upstairs."

Historia nodded so quick it nearly gave her whiplash. His hands helped her back down on her feet, but she was so unsteady, knees like jelly, inner thighs cold with the breath of air whispering against wet skin, Historia stumbled. Eren didn't let her fall, as it happened. He stayed focused, fingers large and curled comfortably around hers as they both hurried out the kitchen - tea forgotten - up the stairs and right for the hallway that led to her bedroom. 

Her door was barely swinging open until Eren spun her sharply around and swept her into his arms, mouth finding hers with enough speed that she heaved a surprised moan. The door slammed shut behind them, kicked by a careless heel as Eren hoisted Historia higher up for her to balance above him, lips still meshing tight and hot together but with enough space that her whimpers and his sighs burn even hotter in their ears.

She'll worry about the servants and guards overhearing later, hoping that no one was around to overhear too much. At the moment, her only concern was being able to touch as much of him as she could, pushing his shirt up and over his chest after dropping them both to her bed. One of the maids had prepped a lit candle for her room on her nightstand, the gentle orange glow casting prettier shadows over his face and body as he threw his shirt and jacket off to the side. Historia's hands glued themselves to his skin immediately, eager to feel the heat of his flesh, the rippling curved of his muscles, fingertips tickled by the soft trail of fine hair thickening over his lower belly. 

She'd seen him before, multiple times. Shirt off, mostly, but never more than that. She wanted more now. 

She almost succeeded when her hands busied themselves in unbuttoning his pants and managed to free the little silver thing out from its loop. The world spun and suddenly she was on top of him, knees bracketing his thighs and all she could see was his eyes, staring up at her with firm insistence.

"Come here," he said, voice soft and heated. The jolt of pleasure between her thighs poured deeper arousal into her blood that left her tongue dry and unable to say much else besides shuddering and ducking down. Her hands scrambled to perch on his shoulders and neck, wanting to hold him closer now that she could control the power of their next kiss. Instead, his hands slid up under her skirt, and the sensation of his palms, calloused from working weeks on the railway and hot with desire, sliding up her bare thighs to reach behind and squeeze the firm roundness of her ass yanked a higher moan out of her. "Take it off."

"You do it," she said, more because she doubted she'd be able to let go of him and not whine about it.

"Alright," A grin brightened his face suddenly and it's all the warning he gave her before flipping them back over and bouncing sharply on the bed. The ceiling is all she saw for a moment before the long material of her skirt swings over her. Historia yelped when she felt Eren grab her legs and pull them apart, cheeks burning bright at suddenly being exposed to the cool air of the room.

"Eren!"

The faint sound of him snickering had her scrambling to pull the fabric of her skirt off her face. She had half a mind to kick him but her mouth was turning up a bit too in amusement. It all fell apart when she saw him kneeling between her legs, eyes gleaming bright gray at the sight of her, splayed out and open for him. Historia felt her neck and ears burn hotter as his touch became tender as he slid his fingers up her shaking thighs.

"I've heard soldiers talk about this," he said suddenly, voice low and awed. "About the wetness of a woman when she's eager..."

Historia bit her lip, self-conscious, skin prickling with goosebumps as his touch wandered and explored the sensitive areas of her inner thighs. 

"I never thought about what that meant," he said. "It never sounded good... about what they would do to a woman like this..."

"What would they do?" she asked, trembling with need and wanting nothing more for him to show her even if she had no clue what to expect. Eren shuddered a slow sigh, eyes flashing back up to look at her before he began to sink down, fingers reaching higher until she stopped breathing. He'd touched her before. In their learning of each other, fingers sinking inside of her while she palmed him under his pants and fondled. She expected that, it was all they'd done besides rutting over their clothes and never daring to take it a step further than what they did that night three and a half years ago when they were fifteen and stupid and dealing with more than they could handle on their own.

Historia writhed as his touches roamed and became more daring until his thumbs plucked the thin fabric snugly around her hips. She hid under her skirt again, this time so she can find some way to bear the way he was pulling it down. The slightest hoist of her hips and the material wetly pulls against her skin, leaving a cold trail against her thighs that made Historia squeak in surprise. Eren made another noise, soft but heady, like a groan. 

"Beautiful," she swore she heard him say. But her eyes remained clenched shut even as he pushed her thighs apart and the bed dipped as he adjusted his position. Yet his hands didn't press against her thighs and reach for the pink flesh between them like she expected. Instead, she felt one of his hands press against the crook of her right thigh, thumb rubbing circles in a slow maddening way that made her hips twitch.

"Eren...!" Historia whined, disliking the cold way the air trailed over the hottest, wettest part of her. His mouth dragged a kiss against her other leg and it dawned on her too suddenly what he intended to do that Historia gasped and almost began to insist him to wait until she felt his tongue—that same tongue that had dragged her mouth open and left her clinging to his body tightly—swoop and lick a slow line from the edge of her pussy to where her clit throbbed and ached for touch. Lightning shocked its way through her system, punching a high gasp out of her gut, her hips jerking at the sensation.

"Was that good?" she heard him ask.

She could barely form a cohesive thought, too surprised and taken aback by what he was doing. Yet her body gave him plenty of response for her, her thighs spreading with more eagerness, hips bouncing a bit for more. Eren huffed, and she felt the breath of it make the fine hairs of her pubic mound shiver. Historia moaned again, soft and tight, fingers digging harder into the fabric of her skirt to make sense of up and down. She felt the same swipe of his tongue as before, only this time slower and circling over the top. She couldn't contain the next garbled moan that came after, her thighs lifting to give him more space to work. The third lick included more of his lips than before, sucking against her clit near the end with a force that made her jump.

"Nnm!" 

He shifted on the bed and she could feel his thumbs gently spread her further open. This time, when Eren dove back down, he didn't pull away, deciding to kiss and suck and lick at her until Historia almost bit through lips, mind spinning faster and faster. The sound of it... _Dear Sina, the sound of his lips licking her up..._ The heat in her blood was having a heyday, coiling hotter and hotter until he did something new with his tongue that had her crying out. He was fluttering his tongue against her clit and Historia's back arched, sweat sliding down the curve of her spin as she gasped and moaned. 

"Eren, Eren, Eren!" Historia's hands jumped off her skirt and towards where he was, fingers bumping into his head before reaching to grip around his hair. Her hips moved before she could stop them, rolling against his tongue. He let out a long moan against her, one of his arms wrapping around one of her legs and clinging hard as she jerked into his hold. _Incredible,_ she could only contain the thought for a second before it was swept away by everything else.

The entire sensation of it was so new and she was so unprepared that Historia had no way of warning him until his tongue swept down and pressed inside of her, his nose rubbing against her clit. The lightning came again, only this time it snapped through her bones and made her thighs clamp down around his head. It burned through her deliciously, her muscles twitching and clenching hotly as Eren's tongue continued to drive in and out of her, a vulgar promise of what she desperately wanted to come. The rush didn't end quickly, pushing its intensity deep and so thorough, Historia's body could only writhe and thrash, hips jerking with each slide of wet tongue that rubbed against her clit, hot gasps and whines gaining volume when he gave a strong suckle.

Historia shook as the last of it hit her in a warm wave until all she could do was curl around the force of it all until it ebbed and passed. Until she was so thoroughly taken that her body went lax and her mind could now consciously recognize how much more slick her thighs and Eren's face felt than before.

Historia slowly willed herself to unclench where her fingers were still digging strong, limbs tingling from the afterglow, but it was difficult when she could still feel Eren's mouth and tongue still working, making sharp twitches of nerves burst into action and having her twitch and writhe a bit each time. 

"E-Eren..." Historia moaned, imploring.

Still, she could feel his tongue working, and a new heat that followed scalded the soles of her feet, highlighting new rivers of wetness out of her that left her shaking. When her mind started to spin, Historia shakily found his hair and pulled urgently.

"Eren...! Pl-please...! I can't...!"

His lips left a parting gift of a tight kiss on the inner crook of her thigh that stung as he pulled away. Historia flopped back on the bed, finally able to gather her bearings. The sound of their heavy breathing was all that filled her ears besides the excited rhythm of her heart and body pulsing in a slowing rhythm. Even though his mouth was off her, his hands were still sliding up and down her legs, grounding her in their slow conquest, making her shiver and come back into her body as they slid and caressed up to her belly and hips.

A moment later, she was able to blink and look back down as the bed shifted and bounced softly beneath her. Eren was gasping by the time he was sitting up, wiping a wrist over his mouth and staring down at her with hazy eyes.

"Eren," Historia whimpered, her blood feeling like hot molasses under her skin, lips and cunt throbbing in time to the fast rhythm of her heart. "Th... that was..."

"Not done," he said, breathing deep as he licked his lips. "I still want you."

She nodded, fingers stretching out towards him, the satisfied coil of pleasure in her belly jumping at the chance for more

"I want you, too."

He started to lean in before pausing and pushing off the bed. Historia blinked rapidly in confusion as he stood off the bed and walked toward the water basin on the other side of the room.

"Eren?"

"L...let me wash off for a second..." he said, finding the pitcher of water and pouring it into the glass cup nearby. "I want to kiss you and I'm not sure you want that on your mouth."

Historia shuddered at that, nose wrinkling at the idea of tasting herself on his tongue, but the thing that hooked around her heart was his honest admission to kissing her. It made her smile wider.

Slowly, Historia pulled herself off the bed, listening as Eren rinsed his mouth while she tugged her skirt off her hips. The fabric pooled on the ground around her feet, quickly joined by her shawl and her wrinkled shirt. It must have caught Eren's attention because he turned around a few seconds later, eyes stopping over her naked body. Historia's hands paused behind her back, reaching for the hook of her brassiere. The fabric loosened around her chest by the time he fully was paying attention, eyes dark and warm all at once. She felt shy suddenly, arms going up to cover her chest while she rubs a toe against an ankle.

"Did... you want to do that...?"

Eren's lips tug upward softly before he crosses the remaining space between them and her eyes fall to the bunched tent of his low hanging pants. Her mouth watered and she quickly gulped down as he stopped just inches from her, eyes carrying such a desire that Historia felt trapped by it, toes curling against the cold wooden floor. His hand slowly came up to caress the skin of her upper arm, prickly with goosebumps as another shiver forced her mouth to part on a soft whimper. Her hips flinched forward, knees knocking together at the force as Eren slipped his fingers under the strap of her brassiere. Under the candlelight, she could see the distinct flush of his cheeks, the rosy hue of his own parted lips.

Historia's fell eyes half close under the feather-light touch of Eren's fingertips pulling the strap down her shoulder, trailing down to coax her arm to drop. The drag of his skin on hers pulled a hot hypnotism into her flesh and the shyness from before seemed so irrelevant now. Her skin purses, delicious shivers coursing through her nerves. Her heartbeat began to race again, blood rising and spinning each intake of hot air between them as the fabric of her brassiere slid down, slowly, only just barely. She swallowed again, throat constricting on the tiniest gasp when her eyes lifted to meet his. Eren stared right back, pupils blown and pushing the ice green of his irises into thin disks. She remembered how tight her fingers grip to the hem of his pants, as if realizing exactly where she stood and how he was aching for her. His hands don’t stop their venture even after she shook her arms quickly off the straps, brassiere landing on the floor with a soft sound. 

The desire to feel more of him returned with a vengeance, urging Historia to press greedy fingers to his hips and yank at his pants. It startled him into inching closer and the sensation of her chest brushing his jump started the rage of desire into action. His hands sank into her hair just as she lifted up to her toes. The kiss morphed rapidly, the sensation of lips on lips no longer enough to slake every building need, vibrating their nerves into action.

Eren murmured something softly against her lips but she missed what it was. She almost started asking him to say it again for her to hear until his hands dropped around her shoulders to dig into the curve of her ass. Historia gasped again, eyes snapping wide as he hoisted her up to lay her back down on the bed, not caring about what side to properly lay her on. The madness in his gray eyes made her want to dig her heels into the mattress, nails around his hair, teeth into his lip, tie their very limbs into intricate knots.

Historia need only twist and shift, the sheets soft and expensive and feeling fantastic under her as Eren grabbed at her thighs and pulled her closer. The hunger from earlier had returned, yanking at her vocal chords into harsher groans while Eren growled into her neck, lips and teeth and tongue marking her in places that left her shaking harder than a leaf in a stormy breeze.

“E-Eren…” Historia whined again, mind spinning faster as his hands roamed over every inch of her, ravishing as she tried her hardest to return the favor. The coil of pleasure, while previously slaked momentarily, was tightening up again, demanding his touch to gain more bravery and sink into her like his tongue had. She tried to meet each stroke for stroke, dragging her fingernails into his skin as he sunk down to pull the peaks of her breasts into his fingers and mouth.

The noise she made when his tongue laved over her nipple was positively wanton, sounding strange and off even to herself. Eren’s eyes flickered up to hers in that moment and the view of him pulling at the sensitive flesh with his teeth and tongue only made the lightning return, insistent, practically furious in its desire to be tamed.

“Eren!” Historia groaned loud again and her hand launched to hold tight to his hair, anchoring her from the storm of his hands and lips. She yanked a bit roughly and it showed when he winced. Historia all but snapped out of her heated desperation to begin apologizing, instead she was shocked to hear the most guttural moan burst past his lips no sooner did she try to speak.

“H...Historia,” he whispered. She blinked and suddenly he was pushing up on his haunches above her, pinning her legs to the bed. All she could do was stare as his hands flew to the hem of his pants and begin pulling. _Oh._

She didn’t remember sitting up, only that her hands were there with him, hurriedly helping tug and yank the coarse fabric down over the jolt of his hips and the swell of his thighs. It became a mad scramble then, to hurry and throw him off to the side so he can kick the material off his feet. Darkness swallowed them without warning, startling her before realizing Eren had kicked his pants over to the night stand where the candle was. It toppled to the floor, gentle light disappearing without warning.

“Ah—shit,” Eren huffed, jerking upright to see where he’d made the mess. Historia moved quickly, bouncing off the bed and hurrying to make sure the flames didn’t pick his pants to eat instead of the wick. To her relief, the most of the mess was just some spilled wax and a bit of smoke.

“Sorry,” Eren said, huffing as she sighed in relief. She straightened up, blinking in the darkness and at least glad there was enough moonlight that it wasn’t pitch black. 

“We’re alright,” she said, and her voice broke on a giggle. She bit her lip, the entire ridiculousness of what could have happened and the absolute high of being turned on beyond belief before being scared right out of the bed hitting her with a note of hysterics that was hard to hold back.

She hoped it wouldn’t offend him, but suddenly she heard a snort and saw the silhouette of him shaking. At that point holding back was impossible. 

Her giggles transformed into tight laughter she tried to contain for his sake but Eren was wheezing too and she had to clutch to her belly as the worst caused her stomach to cramp and her eyes to tear up, amused.

“Oh, god,” Historia said as she bubbled with snorts and giggles, forgetting where they were supposed to be. “That would have been so tragic!”

“Please don’t,” Eren heaved, lifting his knees for him to rest his elbows and curl into an embarrassed ball, laughter keeping his words tight. “I don’t think the government would let me live if they knew I accidentally killed the Queen trying to woo her.”

Historia threw her head back, snorting in a way that should have been horrible but it only made Eren howl and wheeze until they were both reduced to laughing off the side of the bed.

“Alright, alright,” Eren said after a bit, and it was long enough of them giggling in the dark that when he lifted a hand toward her, her vision had adjusted to see the silver blue tones of his skin, the faint gray moonlight bouncing off his eyes. There was something tender there, that soothed her giggles and made her push up off the floor where she had slid during the hardest part of their shared mirth. “I… haha, hope I didn’t put you off.”

“Of course not,” Historia said, shaking her head. Her hand knew how to find him even in the poor lighting, fingers entwining as she pressed her knees into the mattress and moved closer to him. His opposite hand cradled her jaw and her lips found his palm quick. She pressed reassuring kisses to his skin as she huffs the last bit of amusement still clinging to her chest. “It’ll take more than an attempt on my life to make me stop liking you.”

“Hilarious,” he said, pausing suddenly that she glanced up at him. She sat beside him, shivering a little when his fingers traced her jaw and the sensitive skin of her neck. “I... haven’t laughed like that in a long time.”

Her smile tugged down, a little sad but understanding. “I know.”

Eren’s thumb traced a path to her chin, a butterfly touch that she welcomed.

“Did you mean that? Liking me? ...even after everything? And all the horrible things we know?”

Historia’s other hand curled around his, bringing his palm to her cheek again and nuzzling it gently.

“Did you mean it, the part about you wooing me?” She asked, peeking up at him through her lashes. Eren gave a small noise, chin ducking down. She smiled.

“Yeah.” His fingers squeezed around hers, thumb rubbing her knuckles. “When we were working on the railway… Hange told us that our only hope to change the world’s mind is to show ourselves and prove we aren’t the devils they believe.”

Historia watched as his eyes dropped to follow the curve of her neck, warm and gentle. “That our only backup was in sacrificing you.”

Her stomach squeezed, her heart aching with the pain of knowing exactly what he meant. Her eyes fell to where he held her hand on the sheets, his thumb tracing the swell of her knuckles for another circuit.

“I started to think about how long I have left, and who to pass my Titan to.”

Her fingers squeezed around his and the lighthearted happiness of before seemed to drain out of her.

“How much time?” The words came out in a breathless press, weak and sad.

“Five years,” he said, his hand tipped her chin, encouraging her to look up at him. The sadness she had come to associate with his eyes was back even if there was a smile on his lips. “...and some change. Same as I told the others on our way back.”

“I’m sorry, Eren.”

He gave a wry huff, shaking his head. “My path is set. But yours isn’t, Historia. Just like Jean’s, and Connie’s and Sasha’s. Mikasa’s and Captain Levi’s, and Hange-san's. You all deserve to live long and happy lives. I do not want any of you to sacrifice more than you already have.”

Eren looked back up at her before she could ask more about what he meant and there was a shyness there she didn’t expect.

“You’re all important to me,” he said. “But you, Historia… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you even for a moment.”

Her heart gave an impressive flutter, and the confession burned a hot flush into her cheeks before she could find a way to respond. “Eren…”

“You’re all I can think about,” he said and he did sound a little embarrassed, but there was earnestness in his tone too, and it gave him enough strength to pull her hair from her face and drag a palm down her neck and collarbone, resting over the top of her breast in a way that warmed her skin with reawakened nerves. “The entire train ride back… all I wanted to do was come here as quickly as I could and…”

He trailed off, eyes slipping from hers to rest over her lips again. Hungry. Historia leaned in just as he did.

“And what?” she asked softly, her heart aching to take the light of the moon from his eyes. Replace it with something hotter and more everlasting.

“And kiss you…” he said, legs lowering for him to better reach her. Their noses brushed slightly, the heat of his breath puffing over her waiting mouth. “While I still could.”

“Kiss me, then,” Historia breathed, lips melting into each other. “Take me, Eren.”

The kiss he sunk into her mouth pushed until she was falling back into the sheets, her fingers sliding over the smooth skin of his shoulder to grab to the strands of his hair. Fingernails scraped gently against his scalp and he sighed into her, air blowing through his nose as he coaxed her opening mouth to widen and let him tie his tongue around hers. 

Historia got lost in the swirl of his lips and tongue again. She didn’t taste anything that alarmed her, anything that reminded her that earlier he had done the unspeakable thing of making her come on his tongue. It was easier to get lost in it all, to allow him to press his weight over her body and overwhelm her with the sensation of his chest rubbing against hers.

Inexperience had once forced them to touch at speeds that forewent the embarrassment of doing something so new and strange together. It had made their only attempt to know each other like this stumble over clumsy bites and harsh grips of fingers on skin. But over the years of meeting and talking, holding hands and escaping into the swirling view of the night sky, the mundane farm efforts to help the fatherless and downtrodden, inexperience died to bold strokes and growing understanding.

The more she knew him, the more Historia knew she could welcome him back and give him more than swift presses of lips. She knew now, how sensitive the flesh of his hips was whenever she grazed him there, slipped her slender fingers with focused desire against his pubic mound and curled around the hot and hard flesh of his cock. She recognized the mounting moans and choked gasps that squeezed around his throat and how he retaliated by trailing his fingers down to sink deep inside her.

Historia could never stop the babble of incoherent praises whenever his fingers delved to stroke and stoke the flames of her core. Only in those times, they never dared push the boundaries to leave them as naked as they are now on her bed. It was always in the hidden sanctuary of the fields that surrounded the farm, tall grass obscuring their exploration, their clothes always inches from being tugged back to modesty should their privacy be compromised.

The first few times have left her mortified, nervous and almost sick with the revelation that she had let him sink his fingers under her skirt and had been so wanton to pull his length out of his clothes for her to stroke until he was panting her name and begging for release. Instinct pushing instinct and driving all logical train of thought until she felt him shiver and stiffen and muffle her name into her clothes while he spent into her hands.

They rarely spoke of it. They barely let themselves do much else besides leave their explorations as an unspoken agreement, a necessary part of their sessions to bring Eren back into the flesh of his own body and far from the ghostly dysphoria each sweep of his memories left him drowning in.

Allies only. Never more even if there was a longing somewhere inside her that never left even after Eren had helped her climb the climax of shared pleasure with him.

Now, as he ground his hips against her thigh, abs squeezing as he followed the rising and falling stroke of her slender hands on his cock, Historia felt the longing melt away. All the while she bucked and arched her hips, whining when his fingers stretched and scissored deep inside, pushing the rhythm of her hand back into that hot curl of nerves deep within.

She could come like this, with his eyes pouring meaning into hers as she touched him, feeling the pulse of his cock on her thigh, his fingers swirling hot pools of desire that sparked and jolted pleasure all the way down to her toes. Historia knew she was well on the way to get there, feeling that hot coil begin to stretch like a cat deep in her belly.

Until Eren paused and slid his fingers out. The squelching sounds had already made her nervous to glance down, but this retreat jerked her out of it, blue eyes jumping down in protest. His mouth covered her before she could so much as complain and ask why now?

He was ravenous in his kiss, groaning deep into her throat as she whined and bucked into him uselessly, fingers pausing in their rhythm around the painfully hard flesh of him.

“Eren—” she tried to beg him to keep going, afraid that if he didn’t bring her to climax now her mind would never stop spinning with desire.

“Spread your legs,” he grunted against her teeth, even if his hands were already pushing her thighs apart. Her knee knocked into his side in her hurry. Eren huffed, pulling away, lips smacking loud in her ears as she suddenly saw the ceiling above her again, dark and lit only by the soft bounce of moonlight on the floor and around them. She groaned as his hands grabbed her waist and hoisted her into position, breasts bouncing at the abrupt motion.

She lowered her sight in time for him to settle and bracket his thighs at her sides and under her legs. The draft and cool brush of air at the lack of his fingers was silenced by the heat he suddenly pressed against her. Historia stiffened, drawing in a tight breath when she realized that blunt heat was the head of his cock. Whimpers boiled from her chest, her hips wriggling and urging him to fill her.

“H… hold still, Historia,” Eren muttered, shifting his stance on the bed to better brace his thighs under her. His face was so serious it was almost funny, but Historia stilled quickly, tongue licking around her lips as she waited patiently, so so patiently for him to align himself to her weeping entrance and—

“Ah…!”

He pushed the head in, blunt curve and curious flare of glands that felt so odd and yet so _good_ it made her sigh. He kept pushing, one of his hands slid quickly to brace against her belly, caressing her in quick strokes that made her want to stretch. She was almost nervous at first, until he kept pushing and the girth and length of him began to fill her and made her mouth fall open with a loud moan.

“E-easy,” she heard him say through a tight jaw. “If you want me to stop—”

“Don’t stop!” Historia begged, her head falling back on the bedspread. He had stretched her out pretty well earlier, but even that didn’t prepare her for this. This was better than when they’d rushed it and made her ache so horribly for days after. Even so, the stretch was new, nothing like his fingers even if they did help. Eren shuddered as he kept pushing and would have bottomed out if not for a last bit of resistance that made Historia squeak.

“His…!” Eren whined, stopping above her. She had felt his thighs under hers and the angle was incredible only it left her feet without much balance to press her weight on. Even so, he had reached a part of her that was still refusing to relax and all she could do was wriggle and shift restlessly beneath him.

“H-hey,” Eren said again and Historia could barely breathe let alone respond. “You okay?”

He must have noticed the last of her discomfort because he was moving again, thighs spreading and hands grasping her hips. His hips began to pull away, the drag making her shiver. He shoved back in again, slow and easy and it bounced into a certain part in her that made the coil in her belly jump, muscles tightening around him.

A familiar rush poured down her ears as she became so overwhelmed by how turned on she was and how good he felt, and the way his thumbs rubbed at her hip bones did nothing to stop it. She had never felt this full before.

“E… Eren…”

He snapped his hips softly into her again and rubbed his thumbs right at the right moment for her to suddenly feel her walls clamp down, climax stolen from her bones before she could help it. Eren gave a tight exclamation, doubling over as the wave washed over her before tightening again around the walls of her cunt.

“Historia…!”

He drove into her, thrusting with more enthusiasm and it made her toes curl and fingers clench hard into the sheets. It felt maddeningly good until the heat of it dropped and suddenly each thrust jolted into her uncomfortably. Something inside was wrong and it tore her from the pleasure like pulling tape off skin.

“E-Eren, Eren w...wait, wait-wait…!” She scrambled to say, chest heaving too quick for it to be comfortable. At her insistence, Eren suddenly stopped, and when she was able to blink her eyes open and glance down at him he was gasping and leaning over, eyes wide with alarm.

“Sh-shit, what? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”

It took her a moment to catch her breath, the tremors of her skin lowering to a bearable level. To her relief, he didn’t start pulling out and it took a longer minute to realize it was because her fingers were dug in hard on his wrists. She had to swallow and coax her breathing to slow before she could remove each fingernail from the divets she’d left in his skin.

“Y-yeah,” she said, still feeling tight but the worst of it had passed. She could still feel herself throbbing around him and only then did she notice how hard he was biting his own lip, trembling against her in his own way. “I… it’s sensitive.”

“Do you want me to pull out,” he asked, doing a clear effort to be mindful and focused on her instead of the way she gripped tight around his length. 

“I just need a minute,” she said, groaning as she tried to adjust her hips again, bouncing a little. It drew a shared gasp from both of them before her head fell back on the sheets. “M...maybe if you… change the angle…?”

“Oh,” he said, gulping noisily as he immediately began to shift and change to accommodate her. He started by leaning forward, bracing his weight on his palms at her side and letting go of her hips. She missed the contact fiercely, but the pressure was still distracting and insistent. Gingerly, his legs began to shift, still half-dug inside her at her behest, and it wasn’t until his legs were splayed out behind him that she could feel the change and weight of her legs press against the bed that the pressure shifted and morphed into something less tight and discomforting into something… _better._

“Ah,” Historia sighed and she could feel herself relax in a way she didn’t think she could… until it got worse. “Nn!!”

“Shit!” Eren cursed, catching on the pained groan and worrying enough to start pulling out, “I’m pulling out, this isn’t working.”

“W-wait, hold on!” Historia exclaimed, reaching up to grip to his sides, her hand squeezing around one of his biceps. “J-just… let me adjust.”

“Historia, you’re hurting, I don’t want to—”

But she was stubborn and persistent, her legs rising up to cross her ankles behind his back. That alone made it way better even if it did jostle them a bit. “I just need a minute!”

Eren grunted, his head falling down to her collarbone for a moment before he lifted his head to frown at her. She met his concerned stare with a frown of her own.

“This isn’t the time to be stubborn,” he said and there was a nervous hitch to his voice that made her less inclined to fight him. One of his hands gently pushes a lock of hair away from her cheek, cradling her jaw. “We can try it in a different way.”

Historia wasn’t one to quit though. They’ve made it this far for it to end so soon. She licked her lips, trying to figure out what could solve their problem. It felt like her hips felt better when they were curling upwards toward him… but there was no way she could hold that position the entire time. She had impressive upper body strength but this was not the time to push her core to new extremes and set that as the precedent.

She glanced off to the side and got an idea. “Pass me that pillow… I have an idea.”

Eren blinked before following her gaze. He balanced his weight on one arm as he reached and brought it over. Historia sighed and unlocked her ankles, wincing some when the weight brought her back to that uncomfortable position that made her hiss.

“Ok… pull out.”

Eren breathed a sigh and did as he was told, both of them groaning at the sensation. 

“‘K, now help me put that under my hips.”

The bed creaked with them moving and adjusting position until her lower back was resting comfortably on the pillow, giving her support. She bounced a bit on it, whipping her hair out of her face as she settled back down. “Okay, let’s try again.”

“One sec,” he said, moving to place himself above her again. Historia braced herself to feel him push into her again, frowning when he doesn’t though she can hear his hand moving against himself. She glanced down to see him fisting a hand around himself and giving a few quick pumps.

“I thought I hurt you earlier,” he said, shrugging a bit, lips quirked in a nervous line. “It...kinda ruined the mood.”

Historia winced at that before ducking her chin, “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” he said quickly and he was smiling a little wider now. “I’m still wanting to try.”

“Okay,” Historia smiled back, relieved. “Third time’s the charm, right?”

Eren gave her a soft huff this time lowering his hips where she was now open and (hopefully) more prepared for him. “Right. Who said sex is easy?”

Historia laughed airily, hands bracing around his arms as she felt that same familiar bump of his cock rub against the slick opening of her cunt, only this time he didn’t push in like she expected him to. Instead he slid it up, hips pushing back and forth as he dragged the head over her flesh. Historia sighed at the sensation, legs tingling and cunt clenching around nothing in a way that made her bite her lip when she felt that hot hardness rub against the aching bump of her clit.

The atmosphere melted into that familiar wispy desire that made her gasps and his groans intermingle hotly in their ears. Historia’s hips rolled into the slide of his length, eager to match that delicious drag and follow it into something hotter.

“Mm,” Historia arched her neck, toes curling into the wrinkles bed spread as he repeated the circuit, hot breath pounding against her chest. “Eren, _please…_ ”

“Y’ready?” he slurred, face dropping until she felt his forehead pressed against her shoulder, a little bit sweaty, long hair tickling her jaw.

“Come on,” she said, bouncing her hips a little harder. He heaved another shallow sound that could have been a laugh until he slowed down and changed his aim. This time she was prepared and one of her hands came up to grip to his hair as he lifted his head to stare down between them. Historia nudged his head with her chin to let her see as well, and this time they both stared openly as he pushed his hips in and slid inside.

The sensation of being filled was easier this time, her pussy gripping around him, welcoming him a little bit more than before now that the pressure was blessedly gone. One of his hands slammed against the mattress by her shoulder, sheets tight in his grip as he pushed and pushed, prepared to pull away at a moment’s notice. This time there wasn’t the resistance of before and then she felt his hips slip into the cradle of her thighs, flush together—united.

Historia heaved a long sigh, twitching gently in a way that he followed with a deep groan and soft curse.

“This,” Eren mumbled, face dragging into her neck and inhaling. “Is _so_ much better than before.”

Historia was quick to agree, nodding fervently as she lifted her ankles again to wrap around him. Still the feeling of fullness is enough to take her breath away, leaving her to dig her fingers against his skin and urging her to find something to distract her while she adjusted to his size, length, weight all around her.

“Eren,” she finally murmured, twisting her chin to caress her cheek against his hair. “ _More._ ”

She felt him stir and shift, elbows dragging into a better position so he wasn’t crushing her completely. His cheek dragged against hers and then his mouth was pressing against the plush cushion of her parted lips. It was a sloppy kiss but it was perfect now that he was pulling away again, only to thrust back inside.

_“Oh!”_

That was much, much, _much_ better. Slick and hot and delicious and immediately followed by another shallow thrust. Historia’s back arched up at it, her bare chest rubbing against his again as she dragged her hands up and down the hardened cords of his back, rippling with each push and pull that felt better than the last.

“F-fuck, _Historia_ …”

His voice curled into her ears, kiss breaking for him to drop his head by her neck to mutter filthy things against her skin. Her body shivered, nerves igniting with pleasure and an increased desire to make him keep going.

“Yes,” Historia sighed, her body rocking with each thrust of his hips, eyes rolling as he tested out longer strokes, deep hitting thrusts that punch into that sensitive spot deep inside her. He shortened his rhythm, trying out something quick and shallow that made her toes squeeze tight. It made her voice squeak in fast repetitions that seemed to drive him crazy if the low growl he bit into her neck was anything to go by. 

He pulled up suddenly, bracing his weight against the bed at her sides and only giving her a darkened look as a warning before he began to roll his hips in pistoning thrusts that have her throw her head back and moan ever louder. Historia’s hands scrambled to cling to the fabric around her head, mouth parted to let out each shuddering cry he pushed into her and out her throat.

“Oh! G—Ah! Just like that! Eren!”

He quickened his pace, the filthy sound of their hips slapping together, the juices of her pussy squelching with each enthusiastic thrust, their combined groaning, all of it filled the room. Sweat and heat spread over her lower back, over the line of her scalp. Like this she was surrounded in pleasure, much sweeter and way better than anything they’ve shared before.

Eren lowered back down on his elbows, fingers catching on her palms and then it was a quick matter of finding the spaces between hers. Like this, with her fingers tight around his, the sound of his groans pulsing against her, Historia was able to open her eyes and see him, the way his face pinched and expanded with each delicious thrust, each hot pulse of his cock into her pussy. 

He seemed to sense her gaze on him because his eyes opened and suddenly, her body was on fire, the hot coil insider her springing and stretching until her moans grew more frantic, desperate, the incoming signs of her climax fast approaching. He knew, eyes growing wide at the way she was suddenly pulsing harder around him.

“ _Hah,_ Historia, I’m…!”

“Yes,” she begged. _Close, close! So close!_ “Yes, yes! Me too! Eren!”

One of his hands suddenly released her, their foreheads pressing close as her impending climax rolled ever closer. The pleasure kept mounting, mounting, growing unbearable as she bounced her hips up to meet his every stroke and thrust, hoping to spark the last of it to erupt. Tears welled up in her eyes, stimulation burning into her nerves as she tried to reach this delectable end.

All it took was for Eren to hoist a palm under her leg to yank further higher up his side and to her chest, all on the upstroke, before his hips crashed onto hers again. He needed only to do it again before the coil of pleasure snapped _hard_ and Historia was quaking as her climax pushed her nerves into a brilliant and fierce eruption.

His lips pressed hard over hers, muffling the loud swoop of her moaning voice and swallowing it all down as she came. Each thrust made the ever loving yank of pleasure in her reach taller heights, her voice squealing in her throat as her pussy throbbed and clamped down around him, milking him through his thrusts. Eren shuddered under her hands, whining low and deep as her climax pushed him into his not unlike being pushed off a cliff.

The sensation was a subsequent hot and powerful throbbing that Historia knew belonged to Eren, each thrust feeling hotter, creamier, and wetter than the last as Eren weakly pumped himself a few more times against her, making Historia’s legs twitch violently, eyes rolling to the back of her head. It quickly became too much for both of them, both stilling so sharply that they could only cling and hold on to each other as it passed and passed…

Until they were both collapsing in a heap of noodley limbs and harsh panting.

HIstoria’s head rolled softly over the bed, her eyes blinking away stars as she came down, whimpering when Eren pushed out one last time before crashing on the bed right next to her.

The afterglow sank into her limbs and made her want to stay in this bed with Eren for as long as she wanted, her lips parted into a sloppy smile.

“ _Hah, hah…_ Wow,” she huffed, waiting for her body to stop throbbing in places and for the flames of her climax to ease off the soles of her feet. 

“Y-yeah,” Eren replied a moment later, catching his breath a lot faster than she did. “Third time was definitely the charm.”

An airy laugh bubbled out of her, making her feel high and silly. “Haha, definitely.”

Her eyes slid closed for a moment, letting her body come down on its own before feeling an arm slide around her belly and pull her close. Historia’s eyes opened, smile spreading as she wiggled to accommodate and curl around Eren’s chest.

His hand found hers again, the wordless need to intertwine their fingers settling a complete feeling in her heart. Historia nuzzled the skin of his chest with her nose, pressing kisses to his collarbone and shoulder. Eren chuckled breathlessly, arms winding more securely around her and bringing her flush to his chest.

“So pretty,” he murmured as his chin nudged her temple to press a kiss to her hairline. The feeling alone is responsible for the wide smile curling over her lips and she wanted nothing more than to curl into him and sleep. She almost did, body toppling into a light doze before he shifted again to put his weight on an elbow, hovering over her.

“Hm?” she blinked up to look at him, noticing the light the moonlight had shifted a little closer over to them, as it was easier to see his face and the way he stared down at her. His expression is soft, content, but with a melancholy she immediately recognized and felt it dampen the happiness in her chest.

“Let me clean you up,” he offered. “Before helping you go to bed?”

Historia began to nod before blinking and looking at him again. _Wait…_ “You’re not leaving already, are you?”

The thought sent a fierce tug of disappointment through her chest. It must have been obvious because Eren’s lips quirk, smile not quite meeting his eyes.

“I wasn’t supposed to have come to begin with,” he confessed, though there was a very satisfied look on his face that betrayed how little he let that affect him. “I’m sure the Captain will be furious if I’m not on time for tomorrow’s meetings.”

Historia frowned, “Let him be mad. I’m the Queen and therefore I outrank him. So if you need permission—”

His lips pulled up higher, revealing a twinkle of amusement before paling again. “Historia, we both know they’d never let us actually do this again.”

The words caused a sting of pain in her heart that sobered her quickly. The sting was persistent even as she softly muttered, “I know.”

Her eyes burned with the familiar presence of tears and she hurriedly bit down on her tongue to keep the worst at bay. Eren’s hands trail over the soft edges of her body, soothing and sensual all at once.

“What if we keep it secret?” She offered quietly, baby blue eyes glancing up at him, imploring. 

“That’s not the point,” Eren said, sighing.

Historia huffed out, the sting in her eyes beginning to blur her vision, “I don’t _care._ I’m tired of being cast aside, don’t you understand? Ymir disappearing and leaving me behind was devastating enough… I—” her voice hitched as her throat closed. “I can’t lose you either, Eren. You mean too much to me.”

She saw his eyebrows crinkle over his forehead, eyes shutting as if in pain. “I know.”

Historia squeezed his hand with her fingers.

“Don’t go.”

“It’s not that simple.” His hair swung softly against his cheeks as he shook his head, eyes opening and meeting hers in a way that made her flinch. “Even if I stayed, I would eventually have to go.”

She opened her mouth to protest as he brought their joined hands to his lips, “Five years, Historia. It’s all I have left. You don’t have to suffer that with me.”

Tears slipped down her temple and into her hair, nose hurting with the force of her grief. “Then why did you come here?”

Eren huffed out another laugh though it sounded as painful to hear as it was for him to do it. “Because I’m an idiot. And I don’t want to regret anything else before—” he cuts himself off surprising her.

“Before what?” Historia asked. At his lack of response, Historia pushed up to an elbow, forcing Eren to look at her. “What is going to happen, Eren?”

Eren’s lips tightened into a thin line before he sighed again. “I can’t tell you, yet. But I will. I promise I’ll tell you everything. But I want you to know, Historia. All of this… everything I do is to end this cycle of hatred and war. I do it so that whatever children you choose to have don’t ever have to be sacrificed like your family was before.”

“Eren,” Historia began, another tear slipping down her cheek. He broke their hold to wipe it away, cradling her cheek. “What are you doing?”

His expression darkened, lips flattening into a hard look. “Figuring it out.”

He looked back up at her, the worst of it fading, “But I promise you, I will find a solution. One where you aren’t sacrificed and get to choose how to live your life. You all will. I swear it.”

And the words should have filled her with some hope, some admiration at his desire to protect the people he cares about. Instead a part of her stomach twisted, not liking the way his eyes grew sharp, the way his voice hardened around his promise. All Historia could do was watch him and hope…

Hoped he wouldn’t go too far.

  
  
  
  
  


That hope stayed for the days that came and went. The railroad was completed and the celebration took Eren far away from her. All Historia heard was the changes happening to their cities, with the Marleyans in the island gaining more rights thanks to the influence of the woman, Yelena. It was remarkable, she thought, how quickly time had past since the Azumabito made their proposition, since Eren had come down to see her after saving her and laying with her. Since the Railroad took precedence and waiting for news had left him too anxious to sit tight and hold her hand. Since he came back two weeks after...

Her body still tingled in reminiscence, still shocked by what he'd done with his mouth, her lips pulling into love-stricken smiles when she least expected the memories to return. She would snap out of it sure, focus on working in the barn with the other volunteers and pretend she wasn't anxious for him to see her again when the news had traveled through all of Paradis that the Railway was successfully finished. Barely two days after the Celebration and her hopes to see him again were answered by his quiet presence scaring the living daylights out of her when she had gotten up from a restless sleep and found him lurking outside on the porch.

She brought him in quickly, and he at least didn't waste time with formalities, pulling her into a tight embrace and hoisting her into his arms to carry up to her room.

In the dark he gently pushed her clothes up and over her head, reconnecting their skin in a tender way that frightened her when she saw how his eyes shadowed dark with heavier thoughts that their lovemaking could not dislodge.

He would disappear as she fell asleep, only returning near the end of the day, each day that passed showing her a hardening expression and a refusal to open his palms for her to grasp anymore.

He had said they wouldn't be able to do anything that could angle the wrong attention towards them. Despite her soft tugs, his hands remained sternly at his sides when he came to visit, lifting to touch her and pour desperate kisses over her mouth when night fell, only when they were both certain their privacy would be undiscovered. Each time he would sneak away, not daring to stay even an hour before the earliest maid arrived. Each time he would take a piece of her heart with him until there was a vast hole in her chest that ached terribly at his absence.

Days pushed further until it had been three weeks since their first night together and Eren informed her the Survey Corp would be leaving to Marley sometime in the next month.

They would not be able to get anymore opportunities to see one another after that night. He knew it. She knew it.

And that night, he clung harder to her skin, dug his lips into her flesh until the marks ached and Historia fought to meet each desperate touch with the soothing desire to hold him through whatever pain he was carrying into her bed. That night he stayed longer than he ever had, caressing the soft skin of her back with shaky fingers, urging her for _"one more time."_

Each time, Historia nodded, the ache in her chest squeezing with the dread of letting him go and fearing a far off fate that would take all they had even farther away. Eren never stopped kissing her, never stopped whispering soft utterances of her name. He would guide her over him, sink deep into her, foreheads pressing, lips igniting, hips gyrating and sliding in a delicious grind that had her moaning long and low, made him hiss into her ear how amazing she was until her cheeks bloomed pink and her muscles snapped tight with perfect, perfect ecstasy.

And all the while Historia hoped that the tenderness between them would be enough. That whatever Eren was concocting in secret... whatever that woman Yelena had told him, or whatever things Floch had said... 

Hoped and hoped... He wouldn't go too far.

But he did.

A week before he was set to leave to Marley he returned with a darker look in his eye. One that she had seen before and hoped she could soothe away with a walk and some gentle conversation. When they were certainly out of sight from any curious gaze, she tried to reach for his hand, but he did not reach back, choosing to keep his palms loose at his sides. It left her somewhat crestfallen, but nonetheless wanting to hear him out.

As they walked, she fidgeted with her clothes, belly a jumble of nerves with the knowledge of something heavier growing inside her at a slow and steady rate. A part of her had been happy to see he had arrived since they last saw one another, but the look in his eye had only filled her with a nervous dread.

Sure enough, they had found a spot against the fence. A usual place for them to talk away from prying eyes and ears.

“I’m assuming you have news, then,” Historia said after a long moment of silence, fingers lacing over her lap as she waited patiently to speak.

Eren said nothing for a moment. She only had to glance up and see the shadows under his eyes to know exactly what was coming.

“My brother is coming... not now... but he will.” His voice was cold, mechanical even. "There won't be a way to stop him."

Historia’s heart fell. Slowly, she looked away, first at the ground and then back up at the dying sunset.

“I see.”

“The Military Police Brigade is moving forward with a plan to turn you into a titan and feed Zeke to you now that he’s coming to the island.”

Historia’s eyes dropped to the grass and the faint wild flowers growing and swaying gently in the breeze.

Eren kept going. “Our only options are to fight the MP’s or to run away.”

The way he talked didn’t imply like the latter was even an option. Her eyes closed as the news sat in her gut, churning at her insides and leaving her feeling tired. She swallowed and drew in a steadying breath.

“...It’s not like I’ve just been tending to cattle all this time,” Historia said.

“I know,” Eren replied, voice low, hard. A soft blossoming surge of happiness pulls into her chest, knowing that this was as close to knowing how he truly felt. _He’s always ready to fight and draw blood for us… for me._

“There’s no need to fight or to run,” Historia said and she swallowed down the rock threatening to choke her words. She settled on quickly accepting the option he never wanted to. For their sake, he needed to know he wasn’t the only one willing to make a sacrifice.

“If there is a most reliable way to make sure that this island lives on,” Historia said, voice calm, betraying nothing but a gentle acceptance. “...I’ll go along with it.”

She thought back to the fierce promise he had sworn that night, one month ago, against her eyes. Devoted eyes unwilling to give up to save her from being sacrificed for them. 

_I promise you. I’ll find a solution._

Her eyes drop again, lips upturning in a soft smile. Saddened, heart dropping painfully to her feet, but ready. “There was no other way.”

At his silence, Historia pushed onward.

“But,” she looked up at him, heart swelling with gratitude and warmth. “You defended me back then. Everyone acted for my sake,” she thought back to the efforts made to establish a better option with the Azumabito, Commander Hange’s plan to plead the world to see Paradis as different and not at all the devils they’ve been pronounced to be. She smiled again. “That’s enough for me.”

He still hadn’t turned to look at her, dark eyes cast in the same shadow that he had brought with him. Historia’s smile fell and she looked away, heart heavy. Her hands were shaking even as she forced a placating look on her face. Her heart felt tight at the idea of losing the one thing she wanted so badly to keep… to share with him. Perhaps, she thought, it was better he didn’t know after all. Better to leave him in ignorance than to give him another reason to curse the world.

“Maybe for you… but not for me.” Eren said suddenly, surprising her to look up at him.

“What?”

Eren didn’t budge, face stony and hard and Historia could only frown until he spoke again.

“I am going to unleash the Rumbling on to the World.”

A jolt of shock made Historia stumble, turning to face him, eyes wide and disbelieving.

“Eren?” she asked, shaking her head.

“It’s the only way I know how to finally break the cycle,” he said. “The one true choice we have left to be free.”

Historia’s eyes widen in horror, staring up into the hardened stone of his eyes. There was no sign of the man she had made love with a month ago, replaced by this hardened statue that showed no sign of remorse or even a shred of guilt for the implications of his own words.

“That’s wrong!” Historia cried, shaking her head furiously. She tried to reach for him, get him to face her, but she dared not touch him. The fear and reproach making her hands shake harder than before acted like a wall that kept her from breaching that final space. “It’s not like everyone outside the island is our enemy!”

Eren continued to stare at the sunset, unmoving. Historia’s heart continued to fall.

“Most of them are like your mother!” she insisted, trying to get any kind of response from him. Trying to get him to listen to reason. “People like you and me, who have no idea what they’re being killed for or why!”

Finally, his eyes turned to face her and for a second she believed she got through to him. 

“I know,” he said, and Historia couldn’t fathom it. She could only watch as whatever flicker of softness that appeared in his eyes disappeared as quick as it came. “But…”

And then there is a manic sort of defiance that turned his lips into a growing snarl, “The only way to put a _final_ end to the cycle of revenge born from hate… is to remove that history of hate from this world and bury it to the ground, civilization and all.”

Historia shook her head again, ready to protest again, but his eyes are cutting, a firm stormy green that keeps her floored. He turned toward her then, and there is a stronger edge to his voice.

“They want you…” he said. “...to give birth to a child whose only purpose in life is to become a sacrifice for this island.” 

Historia’s protests get caught in the knot of surprise in her throat, eyes undeniably witnessing a horrid desperation in his eyes, making him look cold and furious. “They want to keep forcing parents and children to eat one another.”

His expression flattened back down to something focused, calm… _terrifying._

“ _I won’t let them._ ”

Historia stared up at him, fist clenched tight over her chest, her opposite hand having subconsciously reached to press a cold palm to her lower belly. She remembered then, how Eren had told her of how her family died. What Frieda had done to her own Uncle, the memories she had locked away from Historia’s own mind despite the love they had for each other. She remembered what Eren had to go through… seeing through his own father’s eyes the vision of himself as a boy, transformed into a mindless Titan before being shoved into his mouth. She remembered Ymir, having been forced into a position of power that she never understood what to do with before she was thrown off the ledge and made to pay for the crimes of a faultless people. How she had suffered sixty years of nightmares and paying for it by being forced into the same cycle of eating and being eaten.

She knew how evil this cycle was, knew better than most as she had helped Eren through the worst parts of it all. The hours of screaming and horrified crying in witnessing the memories of his father’s little sister’s body, butchered and ripped to shreds for nothing. Knowing his mother had died at the hands of his father’s previous wife, her body broken in half by a person who had only promised to find Grisha again. Witnessing the way his own father had crushed the bodies of the innocent Reiss children just to take the power of the Founding Titan away from the Royal Family…

She knew…

And yet…

_“I have no right to tell you how to live.” Ymir smiled, eyes warm and caring. “So this is just... a wish of mine. Live your life... with pride.”_

“I…” Tears sting and blurred over her vision even as she tried to look into his eyes and stand firm, “Eren… if I don’t do,” her voice hitched in her throat, breaking. “...everything in my power to stop you… I’ll never be able to live my life with pride ever again.”

He didn’t even falter, watching her as she clenched her fists and begged him with her eyes. “If it’s too much for you to endure, I can manipulate your memories with the Founding Titan’s power. If you can just stay quiet until then…”

Tears drop down her cheeks like bombs, “How could I ever…?!” 

“You can…” and his eyes soften then, revealing a part of him she had always seen, a part he had only ever trusted himself to show her. “Because…”

He took a step closer, almost within enough reach of her hands. “You’re the girl who saved me that day. You’re the worst girl in the world.”

Air pulls from her throat, her eyes wide as her protests die in her chest. She remembers Ymir, glaring at her and asking if being nice and kind and thinking about _everyone else_ was truly what she wanted. She saw through her lies, better than anyone, how she had only cared to save Daz because if they both died then she would have gone down in everyone's minds as a good girl. 

_"Actually, I didn't really like the old you." Eren said, eyes honest and real. "You always looked like you were putting on a mask. It was creepy."_

_"Exterminate the Titans?! Who wants to do that bullshit?! I say Humanity can go to hell! Got that? I'm humanity's biggest enemy! I'm the worst girl in the world!"_

_The worst girl in the world..._

His words stunned her into silence for a moment, his eyes stared at her like he's waiting for her to say something... like he saw through her in a way no one else has besides Ymir.

Her eyes dropped to the ground. She couldn't deny it. While she had swallowed bitter tears and put on her best face yet, deep inside she shook with rage again, at being told to sacrife herself yet again, being nominated against her own desires to sacrifice herself for a greater good she didn't understand fully. 

It dawned on her then what he meant... what she means to him. She had damned the world for his sake, demanded she would never think of others if it meant sacrificing her true self. And now he was reminding her of that...

For a greater good, a fate worse than death was waiting for her... a fate that would have her hate the children she bore for a cycle Eren could see and hate with every fiber of his being. In the end, despite her good intentions, he was right.

She could never accept this plan. She could never put another child under the same pain and loveless childhood her mother and father had damned her to.

Her fingers twitched around her clothes as new meaning poured out of her heart. A deeper kind of fear she had never felt in her life but now for the sake of the life growing inside her. _I don't ever want that life for our child._

Historia sucked in a breath, "Eren... is this the only option? You're absolutely certain?"

A breeze pulled her hair around her face, pushed the fabric of her clothes all around her. She blinked away tears as she looked into his eyes again.

She saw then, a bleak emptiness in his eyes that told her the answer. He didn't need to answer. She was clever, she could connect the dots on her own about the likelihood the world would want to destroy them at some point down the line. Be it over a thousand year cycle of anger and revenge or over the resources within the earth. Even with fifty years to protect them, the cycle would only continue. Even if there was some way for them to find an armistice it would never be certain so long as history pointed a finger at them, demanding blood. _We’re only devils meant to burn._

She knew then what he meant. He meant to stop all of it. End the cycle. End the last of this stupid war threatening their futures.

_I’m your ally._

Allies.

Historia’s head fell, no matter how much she tried… she knew he must have considered every single option. She knew that if this was the evil he had to choose… then there must really be no other option. What a horrible legacy to carry out.

Historia’s eyes fell to where she had been clinging to her dress and she remembered.

“Well, Eren…” and then she looked up at him again. “What would you think… about me having a child?”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed at her words. Understandably confused given the course of their conversation. “I don’t…”

His eyes fell to where her hand held on to her dress, frowning. She didn’t have to wait for the realization to dawn over his eyes and then he was looking up at her, eyes wide with shock. The bleakness faded and a new light bloomed in his eyes.

“Historia?”

She lowered her eyes, her other arm dropping to lace her fingers together, all to hide the now rising nerves from his sight.

“We were never particularly careful... I was supposed to get my cycle the week after we made love the first time. I'm almost two cycles behind and... I still haven’t gotten it.” Historia’s expression was torn between a simple happiness and a terrible sadness. “I’m pregnant, Eren.”

Another breeze picked up, blowing softly and almost obscured the sound of a soft thud against the fence. When she looked up Eren was leaning against it, face covered by a hand and even still she could see the way his eyes stared into the ground ahead, wide and blank.

"W...wait," he looked back up at her, breathing picking up speed. "Historia, we... I... are we...?"

"I-I know this isn't probably what you wanted," Historia said quickly, voice and heart stammering, eyes welling up again and it hurt her nose in the crisp breeze. "I know this probably falls into their trap... but I... I want this, Eren. I want the choice to be mine. I don't want this child to carry the weight of the world any more than you do, but there has to be something...!" Her voice broke. 

"S-something beyond this hell you're proposing that can help us handle this... I've thought about it all this time," she ducked her head down, golden hair hiding her from his eyes. "And if I could choose to have this child be with someone... I would choose _you,_ Eren...! And now that I am... I don't want to regret it. So please-"

She felt his hands tugging under her jaw and hair before she could register, pulling her up and tugging a gasp of surprise before his lips pressed against hers in a heated kiss.

It was a quick kiss, one that she almost tried to speak over with his name before he adjusted the angle and kissed her again, deeper, tongue swiping into her mouth until her hands were clinging to his clothes. Her arms wrapped around him, arching up on to her toes to better grip and kiss him, soft sobs breaking as he pressed kiss after kiss against her lips, thumbs wiping away stray tears.

Their foreheads pressed together after a long moment, gasping and breathing each other in. She was trembling, lips throbbing as she held tight, but Eren didn't let her go and it was all she needed.

"You're sure?" He asked, voice small... sounding young and nervous. Completely different from before. Historia's fingers, having found their way into his hair, began caressing his neck and jaw. 

Her eyes stayed close, relishing this abandon of preoccupation and finding comfort in feeling his heart pound against her chest until their hearts aligned, beating on the same rhythm.

She nodded, pulling away to peer into his eyes. That light was still there and as much as it made her happy to see it, it hurt worse that it's place was not permanent.

"I'm..." he said softly, eyes dropping from her face for a moment before meeting hers again. His voice was small as he said, "I'm gonna be a dad?"

Her heart choked her, swelling with a marveling myriad of feelings that threatened to fill her eyes too. "Yes, Eren. You are."

Something about how she said it seemed to break through him. His head fell, eyes disappearing behind his hair as he began to slip, taking her down to the ground with him. Historia clung firm, expression blowing wide with alarm.

"Eren?"

He didn't respond, shaking until they were both collapsed to their knees and his grip on her slipped as he shook. Historia ached to see his face, but she felt all she could do was hold him. 

Overhead, the clouds swam in the sky, taking with them deepening colors as the sun began to dip into the horizon. Another breeze brushed past as Historia took to digging her fingers through his hair gently, caressing his skin and pressing kisses to his crown.

After a long silence, Eren let go and pulled away. His hands found her wrists, what manner of trembling that had brought him to his knees seemed like a passing memory.

"They can never know," he said, monotone. "We'll need to hide it."

Historia's eyebrows crinkled, the thought hurting her but she couldn't refute it. Carefully, Eren brought her hands down to her lap and let go, skin dragging together reluctantly until her hands were on her clothes.

"If they catch wind that I'm responsible, they'll use you against me. Whatever choice I have to free us all will be theirs to control."

Historia nodded, eyes downcast. 

"You'll need to find someone else... who can take responsibility in my stead."

The words sunk deep into her ribs as if he had slid a knife between them. There was more in his voice that hurt more than the words themselves. Historia looked back up at him, and the light that had been there was gone.

Her heart broke as it all settled in her chest, a final epiphany. 

"You don't mean to return."

His hands curled into fists but he said nothing, gaze focused on the ground between them. After a moment, he shook his head. It sparked an anger and fury she didn't expect to feel in ages. So much so that it burned through her bones and muscles, forcing lightning into her joints and making her move.

Her hands are around his jaw, jerking his head up before either of them realized what she was doing until she met the gray of his eyes and she forced new light inside them.

" _No._ " The word felt hot on her tongue, like fire and determination. "I won't let you."

"This is beyond me, Historia--"

" _Quiet_ ," she hissed, eyebrows furrowing over her eyes, fingers tight around his jaw and skin. "You've said enough and it's my turn to speak. You will hear your queen and say nothing. Understood?"

He blinked, surprise evident but his tongue stayed still and Historia sucked in a new breath.

"I will swear to you that I won't say anything, Eren. Not about this plan, not about anything to anyone. I will swear to keep it a promise between us, and I will go as far as finding someone else as you say I must. But on the single condition that you will come back, and you will help me raise this child. Because you're right, I am the worst girl in the world. I am choosing you and our family over the entire world, I will be in your corner even while you're thousands of miles away. If you think I'll let you go and expect you to die for our freedom, then think again."

Eren stared up at her, mouth parting but saying nothing. Historia's grip on him loosened. "Please... come back. Don't walk into hell expecting die there. I won't let you... I won't let anyone else die to save me..."

There was silence for a moment as Historia's anger simmered down. Eren let out a short breath, like a wry laugh cut too close. 

"I can't promise that."

"I'm not giving you a choice," Historia said finally, crossing her arms. 

"Historia..."

"Just _try,_ would you?!" She snapped, hands balling into fists so tight she felt like a child, tantrumming and furious, but she didn't back down. She wouldn't. "But I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm the _bloody_ queen!" 

Eren's eyes softened, "You really are the worst... the most selfish girl in the world."

"Yes, I am," Historia said, scowling and it was all she could do to allow the strain in her chest to unravel now. "Say it or no deal."

He smiled then, soft and sad but there was warmth in it and it surprised her. "Then... will you marry me?"

The question took the entire wind from her rampaging fury. Snuffing it right out. For lack of a better word, Historia gawked. It took a short moment for her mind to catch up, but her heart was stunned and tripping over itself, leaving a rush of blood to spread over her face.

"I... wh--don't distract me! Why would you--"

"It's a fair deal, don't you think?" He asked. "Marry me, Historia. Say you will... and I promise to return to you."

One of her hands came up to press to her mouth, and her eyes well up and spill with tears before she could bite her tongue to stop them. She remembered the words Ymir had written her, how her only regret had been not marrying her. A regret Historia carried and held to her heart like a dark secret.

And here he was, prying her heart open and discovering the most selfish wish in her heart and offering it to her at the worst point in time.

"Promise," she sobbed into her hand, her vision swimming but she kept her gaze on his. "Promise me first..."

Eren reached for her, his hand sliding into her hand like coming home. Years of holding, years of molding their skin together, and it was the only way she knew he wasn't lying when he said it.

"I promise."

Her hand fell from her face as she tried and failed to compose herself. Short sobs break her breaths until she resigned to nodding. 

"Come back," she said and hurried to wipe her eyes with her sleeve. "And I'll marry you."

"Will you be able to wait?"

Historia nodded. "Of course, you dummy."

"What if you fall for that someone else?" 

His words sounded nonsensical and it made her scowl again until she looked up at him to glare into his stupid gray eyes. "I won't. A deal is a deal. J-just fulfill your end."

He took her by surprise by leaning, his other hand cradling her jaw to steal a kiss. It was a gentle graze of lips on lips, one that stilled her sobs and filled her soul with the sweetest agony.

"I will." 

When he pulled away what warmth was there faded back to the stony rigidness from when he first arrived. The sky was increments darker when he helped her stand back up.

"We need to find someone before I leave," he said.

Historia said nothing for a long minute, her gaze falling to his feet. What joy she had in her heart at his promise was stained gray by reality. She swallowed, heart constricting and body feeling numb. 

"Do you know of anyone?"

“I do,” she said, voice small. A few stray tears fell down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them again. All she could do now was muster the strength for what needed to be done. “One of the stable hands who tends to the horses.”

"Which one, Carlo?"

Historia shook her head. "Not him."

Another silence and Eren made a small noise, "Ah. _Him._ Would have been better if it'd been Carlo."

Historia's lips turned up wryly, a faint blot of amusement rising and disappearing in the tide.

“I’ve known him since we were children,” she replied, and she was grateful her voice didn’t break anymore.

"He used to throw rocks at you, Historia," Eren said curtly. He stayed quiet before sighing. "Alright... if you're sure it'll convince everyone."

"It will," Historia said, and this is not how she wanted this conversation to end but there's too much at stake for it not to. "Let me talk to him."

Eren turned his gaze to the sunset, all dying rays and faint breeze getting chillier with each passing minute.

"Maybe it's better if you don't. Let him think it's real."

Historia's entire body flinched at that, "No. Absolutely not. I won't do that to us."

"It takes one fingernail to make most people talk." Eren said as he looked back at her. "I've seen the Military Police do worse for answers."

"And I'm still the Queen of the island," Historia replied stoutly, but she saw through the smokescreen easily. "Stop trying to make back up options for you to die. I already said I wasn't going to allow it. I'm trusting you with the worst case scenario so trust me in holding hope for a better one."

Eren tugged his hands into his jacket, and while he said nothing for a moment, she could see his eyebrows tighten, eyes flicking back and forth as he considered everything. Historia hesitated, reaching up to touch his arm.

"Trust me to handle this."

Eren's jaw tightened before sighing, "Alright." 

His lips quirked for a moment, a flash of wry emotion that softened the tension in her fingers around his sleeve.

"Knowing you, you'd kick his ass before he has a chance to consider spilling secrets."

"If there's one thing I know is that he's loyal."

Eren'd eyes flashed up to her, "They'll need to believe it. They need to believe it's real."

Her own smile was brief as Historia dared take a step closer, the air was colder now and she shivered as she pressed a hand to his chest.

"It won't be."

Her hand slid up to his face for a final moment where his eyes closed and he leaned into her touch. She closed the space into something intimate, where he curled within her palm, lips pressing to her skin, reluctant to pull away. Eventually though, they had to.

When he did, his eyes bore into hers, a final declaration before he stepped back and left a firm space between them.

Historia lowered her palm, digging her fingers around the kiss he left on her skin like a promise, a tether keeping her firm from breaking.

They walk back in silence until they reach the grounds to the Barn. The sharp smell of horse manure hit her nose, at this distance she can see the very person she had in mind hard at work, whistling something that was pleasant to hear even at their distance.

She paused as Eren stopped behind her, quickly rubbing a sleeve over her face once more as a precaution and hoping the chill wind was enough to keep her eyes from getting splotchy pink. Eren remained silent as she inhaled and turned to face him one last time. His expression betrayed nothing to her and she found herself hating it so much, she thought about what he would do if she reached out and punched him. Laugh probably... or maybe nothing. Once he would have laughed if she did. Now... as they walk into hell side by side, she hoped he would be able to someday after all is done.

But before she could let him take those final steps away, Historia chose herself one more time.

“I love you, Eren.”

His lips part then and for the briefest moment the mask he had set over his face cracked and split, beginning with his eyes and ending where his shoulders dropped. He looked like he was ready to say something, and for a brief eternity, she can almost taste the words beginning to curl on his tongue. But he stopped, and the words remained unspoken.

Eren nodded. It was all he can do before the mask was back on, without even the slightest ghost of a crack to tell her if it mattered. But she knew then, as her lips trembled, that he wouldn’t be doing any of this…

If he didn’t feel the same way.

Without another word, Historia turned quickly and hurriedly, focusing on the smell of dung in the air, the chill breeze pushing at her legs as she walked to the stable hand and paused at the door of the barn, expression wretched and inches away from breaking down.

“Your highness?” the young farmer paused, pitchfork pausing in his scooping hay to separate for the bales later. “Everything all right?”

Historia stepped passed the threshold, closing the distance and offering some greeting that didn't meet her ears. Somehow, she managed to say something that made the innocent man startle before rubbing nervously at the back of his head.

She was able to feign interest, letting him talk about one thing or other and she almost managed to pay enough attention that she didn’t notice the sound of footsteps disappearing from outside the barn.

_See you, Eren._

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit this thing got out of hand. I only meant to write the smut but, welp. It is what it is! In any case, since the entire fandom is going absolutely bonkers over whether or not Eren is the baby daddy - I, for one, indifferent to either end result - I decided to play with some theories and flesh out a quick (though quick hardly seems to be the case at this point now lol) porn with plot fic. I blame K-Lionheart for theorizing the events I threw smut at for spiciness. The smut is all me, you can blame her for the rest of the breakdown, I'm just a shameless and horny plagiarizer. (I'm kidding, K, this note is for you since you're going to probably spam my inbox over this lol) Please don't take this seriously, this is just shameless fun and an excuse for me to write some lousy sex turning to fantastic sex.  
> Oh, and btw all majorly explicit scenes are set during the time before Eren goes to Marley, so when they are both comfortably 18+ years of age. So y'all better not throw hands over the stuff you can glean from context.


End file.
